A brief update on my final reconstruction. I have more to add on Chemo Round 1, but this is happening now for me…so I wanted to share.

I’m going to do something that I’ve yet to do since I’ve started this blog. I’m going to make a quick post where everything is directly being put on the page as it reels off of my mind. I’m not going to write it and think on it for a bit before I post it. (Although you would never know I attempt to proof things by all of my typo’s!  My fingers can’t keep up with my brain!)

I can promise you that I have never posted anything that wasn’t absolutely true though, even after thinking about it!

I had what I hoped was my final reconstruction surgery last Monday. I’m not thrilled with the outcome. The left side (where the cancer was), ended up smaller than the right. That’s because so much more tissue was removed due to the cancer on that side. That’s also the side that didn’t heal after my first surgery, so my body has been through the wringer! (If I haven’t covered that yet, I will, I promise.)

I felt from the time I woke up in the recovery room and looked down at my dressing that things didn’t look even or even “out there” as I expected, but I wasn’t going to question anything at that point. I knew the Dr. had told me that I would end up a little smaller than the ex-panders had me filled too, and all I knew is that he had tried to enlarged me close to my original size, but frankly, the last fill hurt like hell!   So I cried Uncle and said this is enough, I’m big enough. Looking down with the expanders in, I felt like I was a full D, so I was thinking I would be a C when I finished.

The Dr. told me he was going to go with 700cc implants. I had read that 800 cc’s were the biggest that were allowed in the US, so I knew that 700’s would be the not over the top. I had also told the Dr. how important it was to me that I had some sort of protrusion in my breast, I didn’t want round, flat saucers as breasts.

As it turned out, he took 700’s and 750’s in the operating room. When he looked at the 750’s, they were bigger around, but much flatter, so he opted for the 700’s to give me more shape in the front. I was happy to hear about his decision.

I do have to say, at this point, I’m a little disappointed at the visual outcome, because my left breast is smaller than the left (due to the extra tissue that was removed). Unless a professional tells me that I’m completely wrong, I can’t blame my Dr. what so ever!

One of the nurses did make me feel a tad bit better yesterday by telling me that it can take a couple of months for things to settle, to see what the final results will be.

At this point, I would be ignorant to expect for my body to turn out perfect. (Hell, I don’t even think it was prefect at the age of 18.)

I don’t care if I have to stick an extra bit of padding in my bra to even things out.   I don’t care that I can’t go bra less as other breast cancer victims can.

This all comes down to priorities.  I have my life, my husband, our kids, my family and friends.  I’m here!  I thank God that the look of my breasts will never define the person that I am, and I thank God that I have a husband that has been my rock and a world of support to me!!!

Honestly, this is coming straight from the heart!  No editing!   I mean every word, and hope it helps someone else through what could be a devastation. If you have the right people in your lives, it doesn’t have to be!   Don’t ever forget that!

Much Love, Kim XOXOX

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